Glossary · Torah Ohr · Likkutei Torah
Kiddushin / erusin and nisuin
קדושין ונשואין
Betrothal and marriage (kiddushin / erusin and nisuin)
Two stages of a bond: kiddushin, the ring, an outer, encompassing tie (as through the mitzvos); nisuin, an inner union in which the light is absorbed within. Applied to Torah, prayer, Sinai and the future.
The word The words keep their halachic sense (a betrothed girl’s vows, the ring, the chuppah) and the text builds on it. קדשנו (“who sanctified us”) in the blessings is read as kiddushin; in the soul’s service, ארוסה and נשואה, and כלה with or without a hei, mark whether the light has been absorbed within.
Where it’s explained
- Likkutei Torah, Vezos Haberachah 2, ¶3Betrothal is the groom’s giving the bride the ring of kiddushin: through it he draws to her a small measure of life, so that she is mekudeshes, set apart for him.
אירוסין הוא מה שהחתן נותן להכלה הטבעת קדושין ובזה הוא ממשיך לה חיות מועט
- Likkutei Torah, Bamidbar 10, ¶8One who attends only to the letters of Torah and prayer is “betrothed,” receiving from the “courtyards”; the letters are makifim like the betrothal ring (kiddushin and “ma’amar” are one). When the grasp of the Torah, a drop of the higher Chochmah, and in prayer His exaltedness, are absorbed into one’s innermost being, that is marriage, the inner dimension.
ומאמר היינו אותיות התורה כו׳ שהם בחי׳ מקיפים כמו טבעת קידושין
- Likkutei Torah, Matos 5, ¶2In prayer: when contemplation reaches the heart but stays in its outer part, the soul is “betrothed” and called כל, without a hei; when the Or Ein Sof grasped by the mind is absorbed into the point of the heart, as the female receives the seed, she is “married” and called kallah with a hei.
לכן נק׳ נשואה אחרי שנקלט אור א״ס ב״ה שבהשגת מוחו בתוך נקודת לבבו ביחוד וזיווג
- Likkutei Torah, Shemini Atzeres 7, ¶2The blessing “who sanctified us (kideshanu) with His mitzvos” is kiddushin, without which there can be no absorption in Torah and prayer; this kiddushin is drawn from sovev kol almin, the ring, where past, present and future are one.
ענין המשכת בחי׳ קדושין הנ״ל הוא מלמעלה מבחינת סוכ״ע בחי׳ טבעת קדושין
- Likkutei Torah, Vezos Haberachah 3, ¶18The Written Torah and the Oral Torah are groom and bride; the ordinary flow from the one to the other, only a glimmer (“a little water from your pitcher”), is kiddushin, like the small ring. Shemini Atzeres, when Simchas Torah is made, is the union that follows the marriage.
בשמע״צ שעושים שמחת תורה הוא בחי׳ יחוד שאחר הנשואין
Stated differently
Whether the giving of the Torah at Sinai was betrothal or the marriage itself
וכמ״ש ביום חתונתו זה מ״ת בחי׳ אירוסיןThe giving of the Torah was betrothal: though face to face, only the outer Torah (the forbidden and the permitted) was revealed; the inner Torah, the divine delight in it, stayed makif, like the round ring. Marriage will be in the future, when the inner Torah is revealed.
אך עיקר הנשואין היה במתן תורה לפי שפרחה נשמתן ממשThe betrothal came before, in the covenant made through Moshe and “we will do and we will hear,” makifim; the main marriage was the giving of the Torah, inner light, when their souls flew away at each utterance.
והיינו במ״ת דכתי׳ ביום חתונתו שאז הוא זמן הנשואיןThe giving of the Torah, “the day of His wedding,” was the time of marriage: like the drop drawn from the giver’s brain, the Torah, His wisdom and will, Or Ein Sof itself, is grasped and absorbed in the souls, who are therefore called the bride.
Discussed by
The Tzemach Tzedek · Or HaTorah, Shemos vol. 5 (Terumah), p. א׳תמא
Citing the Maharsha that the giving of the Torah was a deed of betrothal and the indwelling in the Mikdash the marriage, the Tzemach Tzedek reconciles the Mishnah’s ‘his wedding day is Sinai’: the ‘wedding day’ there means betrothal, and ‘the day of his heart’s joy’, the Temple, is the marriage.
ולפ״ז משארז״ל במשנה ספ״ד דתענית ביום חתונתו זה מ״ת וביום שמחת לבו זהו בנין בהמ״ק, היינו יום חתונתו נק׳ אירוסין
Whether, at present, the bond through the Torah is only betrothal or already marriage and inner union
ועכשיו לא נתגלה לנו רק חיצוניות התורה לכן נק׳ אירוסין לבדNow is “I will betroth you,” like a bride in her father’s house; marriage (“your Maker is your husband,” “you will call Me Ishi”) is in the future. Since only the outer Torah has now been revealed to us, the present is called betrothal alone.
בתורתך דייקא שתהא שורה ומתגלה המשכת ח״ע בבחי׳ פנימית בבחי׳ זיווג ויחוד ממש“Sanctify us with Your mitzvos” first: the mitzvos, an outer matter like the ring on the finger, are kiddushin; then “grant our portion in Your Torah,” in which the higher Chochmah rests and is revealed inwardly, in true union.
אבל בשמע״צ שעושים שמחת תורה הוא בחי׳ יחוד שאחר הנשואיןThe ordinary flow from the Written Torah to the Oral, only a glimmer, is kiddushin; but on Shemini Atzeres, when Simchas Torah is made, there is the union that follows the marriage.
Discussed by
The Rebbe · Toras Menachem, Hisvaaduyos 5724 vol. 3, p. 101
The Rebbe sets ‘his wedding day is the giving of the Torah’ against the teaching that now there is only betrothal, and answers (continuing on p. 102) that the marriage was already effected at Sinai but is hidden for now, and will be revealed in the future.
ואין זה בסתירה להידוע שבזמן הזה ישנו ענין האירוסין בלבד, ורק לעתיד לבוא יהי׳ ענין הנישואין
Where the chuppah stands: before kiddushin, as the makif that brings bittul, or after betrothal, as the marriage
ולכן הוצרך להקדים החופה לקדושין שכדי שיבואו לקבלת התורה שהוא בחינת הקדושיןIn the blessing “through chuppah and kiddushin,” the chuppah comes first: it is the makif, the mountain held over them like a tub, which brought them to bittul (“we will do” before “we will hear”); then came kiddushin, which is receiving the Torah.
כי אחר אירוסין הוא בחי׳ נשואין והיינו בחי׳ חופה שהחתן והכלה שניהם עומדים תחת החופהThe flow from the Written Torah (the groom, the higher Chochmah) to the Oral (the bride, Malchus) in the outer dimension is betrothal; for the inner Written Torah to flow to the bride, marriage must come first: after betrothal comes marriage, the chuppah that surrounds both groom and bride. Above Chochmah is the “most hidden of all,” before which Chochmah is a mere glimmer.
Discussed by
The Rebbe Maharash · Toras Shmuel, 5639 vol. 1, p. ריז
Having said that the chuppah, the makif of teshuvah, must come first so that the blessing ‘sanctifies His people through chuppah and kiddushin’ holds, the Rebbe Maharash asks why kiddushin was given at betrothal without a chuppah, and answers that betrothal, itself a makif, needs no chuppah: the chuppah is for the inner union of marriage.
ואמנם עדיין צ״ל הלא הנהוג הי׳ אצלם שהי׳ הקדושין בעת האירוסין, ולפי מה שנת״ל צ״ל חופה מקודם
Further in Chassidus
The Tzemach Tzedek · Or HaTorah, Devarim vol. 3 (Nitzavim), p. א׳רעה
The Tzemach Tzedek ties the two stages to two levels of Keser: the Torah now is betrothal because it comes from Gulgalta, the outer will, while the future marriage will reveal Mocha Stima’ah, in which Atik itself is revealed.שהתורה דעכשיו נק׳ ארוסין לבד לפי שהיא מבחי׳ גלגלתא אבל לעתיד שיהי׳ בחי׳ נשואין היינו שיהי׳ גילוי מו״ס שבו גילוי בחי׳ עתיק
The Rebbe Maharash · Toras Shmuel, 5639 vol. 1, p. ריז
Building on Likkutei Torah’s ‘Torah tziva’, the Rebbe Maharash defines betrothal as clothing the bride with the ring, still an encompassing light, and marriage as inner union that ‘begets in its likeness’, for which a chuppah, the makif of teshuvah, is needed.אירוסין הוא בחי׳ לבושי׳ שלובש טבעת קדושין להכלה, שזהו בחי׳ מקיף עדיין, וכמ״ש מזה בלק״ת בד״ה תורה צוה, משא״כ נשואין הוא בחי׳ יחוד פנימי
The Rebbe · Sefer HaMaamarim (bilti muga) 5719, p. מו
On ‘Torah tziva’, the Rebbe derives from halachah (a betrothed woman is not yet bound to her husband, who does not yet support her) that betrothal, though it forbids her to all others, is only an encompassing bond, hence the round ring, while inner union comes with marriage; he then applies this to the Written and Oral Torah.כי היחוד פנימי נעשה בנישואין דוקא, אבל באירוסין הוא בבחי׳ מקיף בלבד
Short quotes, © their publishers; each page opened by a second AI reader.
Main sources
Likkutei Torah, Vezos Haberachah 2, ¶3Likkutei Torah, Vezos Haberachah 2, ¶9Likkutei Torah, Vezos Haberachah 3, ¶18Likkutei Torah, Bamidbar 10, ¶8Likkutei Torah, Bamidbar 18, ¶21Likkutei Torah, Matos 5, ¶2Likkutei Torah, Bechukosai 6, ¶9Torah Ohr, Vayigash 3, ¶5
Where it appears
In 88 paragraphs of 50 maamarim.
- Likkutei Torah, Balak 5 ¶29
- Likkutei Torah, Bamidbar 9 ¶8 ¶9 ¶10 ¶11
- Likkutei Torah, Bamidbar 10 ¶8 ¶12 ¶14 ¶15
- Likkutei Torah, Emor 1 ¶40
- Likkutei Torah, Korach 1 ¶51
- Likkutei Torah, Matos 5 ¶1 ¶2 ¶3 ¶4
- Likkutei Torah, Re’eh 3 ¶24
- Likkutei Torah, Re’eh 11 ¶2
- Likkutei Torah, Shelach 7 ¶1 ¶6
- Likkutei Torah, Shemini Atzeres 7 ¶1 ¶2 ¶7
- Likkutei Torah, Shir HaShirim 29 ¶15
- Likkutei Torah, Tzav 4 ¶4
- Likkutei Torah, V’Zos HaBerachah 1 ¶8
- Likkutei Torah, V’Zos HaBerachah 3 ¶18 ¶19 ¶20 ¶24 ¶32 ¶33
- Likkutei Torah, Vayikra 5 ¶27
- Likkutei Torah, Bechukosai 6 ¶9 ¶10
- Likkutei Torah, Matos 2 ¶19
- Likkutei Torah, Shemini Atzeres 1 ¶15
- Likkutei Torah, Shir HaShirim 21 ¶17 ¶18
- Likkutei Torah, V’Zos HaBerachah 2 ¶1 ¶3 ¶7 ¶8 ¶9 ¶10 ¶11 ¶13 ¶14 ¶15 ¶16
- Torah Ohr, Megillas Esther 12 ¶15
- Torah Ohr, Vayigash 3 ¶2 ¶4 ¶5
- Likkutei Torah, Haazinu 3 ¶39
- Torah Ohr, Vayeitzei 5 ¶9
- Likkutei Torah, Chukas 3 ¶10
- Likkutei Torah, Balak 1 ¶28
- Likkutei Torah, Bamidbar 6 ¶10
- Likkutei Torah, Bamidbar 15 ¶12 ¶25
- Likkutei Torah, Pinchas 2 ¶12
- Likkutei Torah, Shir HaShirim 39 ¶7 ¶9
- Likkutei Torah, Behaaloscha 7 ¶6
- Likkutei Torah, Pinchas 4 ¶22
- Likkutei Torah, Shir HaShirim 3 ¶7 ¶8 ¶10
- Likkutei Torah, Chukas 1 ¶21
- Likkutei Torah, Matos 3 ¶15 ¶20
- Likkutei Torah, Shabbos Shuvah 2 ¶6
- Likkutei Torah, Bamidbar 18 ¶21 ¶22
- Likkutei Torah, Shir HaShirim 6 ¶2
- Likkutei Torah, Shir HaShirim 8 ¶51
- Likkutei Torah, Shir HaShirim 32 ¶34
- Torah Ohr, Bereishis 8 ¶11
- Likkutei Torah, Bechukosai 1 ¶1
- Likkutei Torah, Ki Seitzei 3 ¶14
- Likkutei Torah, Rosh Hashanah 7 ¶1
- Likkutei Torah, V’Zos HaBerachah 5 ¶1 ¶14
- Likkutei Torah, Ki Seitzei 7 ¶1
- Torah Ohr, Mishpatim 1 ¶4
- Torah Ohr, Tetzaveh 2 ¶19
- Likkutei Torah, Acharei 3 ¶3
- Likkutei Torah, Re’eh 7 ¶53
Written with AI from the paragraphs of Torah Ohr and Likkutei Torah, each entry checked by a second AI reader and every Hebrew quote checked by code; not yet reviewed by a person. Our English: CC BY-NC 4.0.